As I was traveling home from my work out a couple of weeks ago I felt God speaking to my heart in regards to my lack of submission to my husband when it came to certain things. At first when he was speaking I thought maybe these were just my own thoughts as I could not understand why I would be thinking about such a topic after a hard core workout. However, God kept the subject before me even days later. He began to show me my heart as it related to submission. The Lord was showing me how I viewed submission in such a negative manner because of the examples I had before me in growing up. The leading ladies in my life whether married or single always felt like they needed to have control over every aspect of their lives not depending or relying on a man. In addition to that, I grew up in a single parent home, where I learned to totally rely on SELF and no one else. I watched my mother work several jobs and when something had to be fixed or repaired in the home she did it. I'm not sharing this to take anything from her or my up bringing because I think she did an awesome job holding our home down on her own. I just want to make clear where the root of my negative thinking of submission stemmed from.
God continues to show me how those behaviors began to plant seeds in my life that later showed up in my marriage. I could remember one day going back and forth with my husband about something so simple as what time our son was supposed to be taking a shower for school. He wanted to do it his way and I wanted it my way. Something so simple turned into one of the biggest arguments of our marriage. It surely did not have to be that way had I released my will to control the situation and do what I wanted to do. There have been other times where my husband has tried to take the lead on different things concerning our household, but because I was trying to wear the pants suit in the relationship I have sometimes hindered his ability to lead. God was also showing me how my response to my husband leading our home was lowering his confidence as the head of the household. I could also remember one day coming home after work and trying to now put on the hat of wife and mother, running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to be "Super Mom" and "Super Wife" and my husband simply said, "Samarra, you don't have to do it all, that is what I am here for, to take some of the load and stress off you."
So as mentioned earlier, God began to do a work on my heart as it related to submitting and allowing my husband to lead our household in the direction of God. God showed me scripture that spoke on the wife submitting to her husband and how much of a blessing it is to do so. I am reminded of 1 Peter 3:1-7 that says, In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. I love this scripture passage because it gives the wife instruction on what's expected of her but it also gives the role of the husband and what's expected of him in return. So for all my sister girls struggling to submit and allow your husbands to step up and lead your home be encouraged. I'm not saying that this journey is easy but the reward is great.
I'm not saying I don't have my struggles with this from time to time but I see my progress and willingness to be the best wife I can be. So I say to you ladies, pants or skirt suit? Which one are you?