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Showing posts from June, 2011

Numb to the Disease

Have you ever had something happen to you that was so shameful and/or embarassing that you blocked it from your mind and became totally numb to the situation?  Well, I had an experience like this my sophomore year of college.   At that time, I  began  to engage in sexual sin with a gentlemen I was involved with for about two years off and on.  I thought it was the thing to do since I had been with him for some time and the relationship seemed to be pretty exclusive, or so I thought.  After having the abortion, I was scheduled to come back within the next week or two to have a check up done to make sure the procedure went well and that there was no problems or concerns thereafter.  The check up went well, however, they also administered a pap smear where they checked me to see if I had any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).  A couple of weeks after having the pap smear done,  I received a letter in the mail instructing me to call them because they had some important information to t…

Bound by Shame: My Unborn Child

During my undergraduate career, I found myself at a backslidden state in my faith walk.It was my first time out on my own without the supervision of my mother and I allowed the freedom to get the best of me.I allowed myself to get caught up in the lies of guys and fall into sexual sin.Though I had morals and respect for myself by not sleeping with a lot of different guys, I still fell into the trap of the enemy.After my first year of college, I got involved with a guy that I was dating off and on for about two years.We engaged in sexual sin and I ended up pregnant.When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was about 6 weeks along and there was no doubt in my mind that I would be getting an abortion.In my opinion, neither of us could afford to bear a child.Furthermore, as sad as it may sound, I had no sense of feeling or emotion about the abortion at the time; all I knew was that I was not going through with having a child and bringing shame upon myself and my family.I could not bring…

The Fatherless Home

Growing up for me had its challenges, as my mother raised my little sister and I without either of our fathers being physically present.  Now, don't mistake me, this is not a blog post to speak negatively about either of our fathers, I simply have the intention of taking you down the road that I traveled while growing up in a "fatherless home."

During the first five years of my life, my mother and I lived with my grandmother, aunts, and uncles.  However, at the the age of five, my mother moved out on her own, and my life began to change.  Once my mother moved out, she no longer had the physical and financial support she needed to provide for both of us.  I watched her work hard, day in and day out, to provide us with the necessities needed to survive.  Sometimes, before school, I would have to stay in the home alone just until it was time for me to head out to the bus stop, because my mother did not and could not afford to provide me with a sitter.  I use to think to mys…