Wow! It has definitely been a while since my last post, but I'm more focused and determined to do God's will like never before. This New Year's my hubby and I, along with our two children, spent it in our church home with other family in friends. It was such an amazing time as I felt led by God to re-dedicate my life to The Lord. I felt like God was telling me that he wanted to elevate me to the next level of my spiritual walk, but in order for me to get to that point I had to submit and recommit myself to Him.
Over the past year, I have been tried and tested. I was pregnant for most of the year and during that time, though very different from the first time, I found myself at some points very overwhelmed and saddened, wondering how my husband and I would take care of not just one child but two. During that time I also felt like I was at a stand still with my walk with God. I think I felt this way because for the entire first trimester I was really sick and most times too sick to attend church. It was at this point I think I felt like my spiritual growth had been stunned because I wasn't getting the word I needed at that time and just allowed the enemy to push me further and further away from God, so I thought. Then at the start of my second trimester I lost my maternal uncle which hurt me to my heart because though I was taught never to question God I found myself asking how could this have happened when I trusted Him to make everything right again. This pushed me further into the opposite direction of God until one day my spirit man began to literally crave the spirit of God to the point where I called my aunt who is the director of the television ministry of our church and asked her to make sure that they were live streaming the service so that I could feed my spirit. Even though she agreed and I was able to watch and hear the service a part of me still felt spiritually defeated.
This went on for several months, until I decided to participate in a fast with a ministry I had become familiar with through Facebook. Participation in the fast helped me to realize that even during the time where I have felt furthest from God He was still there walking me through my toughest hour. Slowly but surely I began to feel a slight reboot of my spirit, still not where I wanted to be but surely not where I was when the year first started. I then became involved with the ministry that facilitated the fast, as the leader of the ministry became my spiritual mentor and would counsel me in areas where I was falling short of the glory of God. I think she counseled me a few times before I eventually stopped as I was becoming more and more tired and exhausted as time was quickly approaching for me to deliver my baby.
After having the baby, I went to church but not often because of simple sleepiness and/or exhaustion or for the reason of me just not wanting to take the baby out around lots of people without having his shots. Nonetheless, this caused me to regress a little more but needless to say within the last month into the New Year God has been showing me how even in what I considered a spiritual death He was still there making sure that my baby was healthy and had all he needed and some to prepare for his arrival in this world. God showed me how he allowed me to go through some of those things so that I would began to rely solely on Him and not my own strength or capabilities.
So with all of that, it brings me to today, where I feel recharged, refocused, and most importantly re-dedicated to the plan and purpose God has for my life. Be encouraged this new year and allow Amos 9:13-15 to minister to you. Great things are in store for you in 2014.