It has been almost four years since my last post. I know, shame on me. However, this year I am making a commitment to be consistent with blogging, as I believe the Lord wants me to use this as an avenue to encourage people through my life experiences. So, I vow to stay and trust the process through this blog, as God leads me. You guys can also hold me accountable, especially if it has been over a month since you have read a post. So, with that being said, I felt lead to blog on this topic because it's one that I often struggle with (as if you couldn't tell...lol)
There have been moments in my life where I wasn't fully committed to a task, spiritually or physically. It's been times where I have felt the Lord leading me to do certain things, and because of how I felt at the moment, I would either start the task and not fully commit to seeing it through or I wouldn't start the task at all. Most times I allowed fear and pride to interfere with what I knew I needed to be doing. Fear because I would often feel like I wasn't good enough to carry out the task and pride because I was so concerned with what others thought and not what God was thinking. In addition, I always found myself trying to perfect (in my strength) whatever it was God had given me, as opposed to allowing Him to just flow through me. Furthermore, from a physical perspective, I would set goals for different things, i.e. exercising more, spending more time with God, becoming more organized, etc. However, things like social media, television, being busy, etc. would distract me from focusing on those things. In other words, I was filling myself with things that aren't important, which also lead to less time spent with God. So, for me less time spent with God meant no goals met and no relationship building with the Father to trust Him enough to flow through me and that in turned meant me breaking my commitments or not acknowledging them at all.
About a couple of months ago, I felt the Lord telling me that my commitment to Him came with strings attached. Meaning, in order for me to be moved or motivated enough to stay committed to Him and His word, I was looking to get something in return. You may say that I should want to get something in return. Well, yes and no. What I should have desired out of being committed to God and His will is simply spiritual intimacy and His purpose for my life being fulfilled, but that was not my story. I would normally want God to answer certain prayers of needs and wants. I often found myself diligently seeking His face early in the morning, through reading and worshiping, especially during the time of a need or a desired want. However, this would only last up until either He answered my prayer or maybe He didn't and I became upset because of it. When I think about that now, I am reminded of my children, in that they are all for completing task and chores when they know there is a treat or reward in return.
We should not just be committed to God when it is convenient for us but stay committed when there is absolutely nothing in the deal for us. Besides, our willingness to stay committed may be an opportunity for someone else to come to know God. I'm learning daily to love God for who He is and not what I can get from Him.