Have you ever had something happen to you that was so shameful and/or embarassing that you blocked it from your mind and became totally numb to the situation?  Well, I had an experience like this my sophomore year of college.   At that time, I  began  to engage in sexual sin with a gentlemen I was involved with for about two years off and on.  I thought it was the thing to do since I had been with him for some time and the relationship seemed to be pretty exclusive, or so I thought.  After having the abortion, I was scheduled to come back within the next week or two to have a check up done to make sure the procedure went well and that there was no problems or concerns thereafter.  The check up went well, however, they also administered a pap smear where they checked me to see if I had any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).  A couple of weeks after having the pap smear done,  I received a le...

During my undergraduate career, I found myself at a backslidden state in my faith walk.   It was my first time out on my own without the supervision of my mother and I allowed the freedom to get the best of me.   I allowed myself to get caught up in the lies of guys and fall into sexual sin.   Though I had morals and respect for myself by not sleeping with a lot of different guys, I still fell into the trap of the enemy.   After my first year of college, I got involved with a guy that I was dating off and on for about two years.   We engaged in sexual sin and I ended up pregnant.   When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was about 6 weeks along and there was no doubt in my mind that I would be getting an abortion.   In my opinion, neither of us could afford to bear a child.   Furthermore, as sad as it may sound, I had no sense of feeling or emotion about the abortion at the time; all I knew was that I was not going through with having a child ...

Growing up for me had its challenges, as my mother raised my little sister and I without either of our fathers being physically present.  Now, don't mistake me, this is not a blog post to speak negatively about either of our fathers, I simply have the intention of taking you down the road that I traveled while growing up in a "fatherless home." During the first five years of my life, my mother and I lived with my grandmother, aunts, and uncles.  However, at the the age of five, my mother moved out on her own, and my life began to change.  Once my mother moved out, she no longer had the physical and financial support she needed to provide for both of us.  I watched her work hard, day in and day out, to provide us with the necessities needed to survive.  Sometimes, before school, I would have to stay in the home alone just until it was time for me to head out to the bus stop, because my mother did not and co...

From the age of five to the age of fourteen, I lived in what society considers the "projects."  My experience of living and growing up in the projects was not physically bad, but on the inside I was being tormented with shame.  I often wished that my family and I lived in a better part of town.  My desire to live in a better neighborhood stemmed from me attending schools and having friends that lived in what I considered to be lavish homes when compared to where I lived.  As I got older, it seemed as if the shame grew stronger and bigger.  There was a time when one of my friends invited me to spend the night at her home, and though I was very excited and thrilled for the invite, a large part of me felt a sense of shame.  All I could think was, if I accepted her invitation, she would find out where I lived, and she would no longer want to be my friend because of my neighborhood.  I guess my real issue was that I felt that I...

Forgiveness for me has not been the easiest thing to do.  In fact, I think it has been the most difficult thing for me to do yet.  Over the past five years, it seems like I have struggled forgiving those that would be considered most close to me.  In my experience, I would call myself forgiving the person only to relive the situation over again by slandering the person or simply telling someone else how that person hurt me.  In Ephesians 4:31-32 it reads, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." "Ha, yeah right" is what I was thinking when I first read this. I began whinning to God telling him how the person or persons had hurt me. I also began to question God. "Why do I have to continue forgiving them, but yet they continue to hurt me time and time again?  Why do I have to walk in ...

Have you ever set back and asked yourself, why do I continue going through the same trials and tribulations over and over again? This has been a question I often ask myself on a daily basis.  I asked God, why do I continue committing the same offenses against you time after time?  God's response has always been, "because you continue to try and do things in your own strength and not mines." Recently, I have started to experience true victory because I finally began to allow God to walk me through some of the most difficult moments in my life.  As I continue on this path to freedom, I will be sharing with you the real Samarra Rogers.  I believe that God has placed it upon my heart to start a blog, not just for my healing and restoration, but for someone else as well.  When the thought of writing a blog was dropped in my spirit, I immediately tried to dismiss it because I do not like writing and I do not like opening up an...